Kung Foo - The Democratic Special Ed Class of 2004

Not signed in (Log In)

Random Photo

(changes every 15 minutes)

Merle's brilliant idea to retrieve his lost keys using a twig and a wad of chewing gum stuck to the end was beginning to look dumber and dumber.

Photo by AquaVelvet. Caption by AquaVelvet.

read and rate other captions »
post your own caption »
submit a photo to caption »

Site Supported By Ads

Recent Comments

Digg This Post

Save This Page

The Democratic Special Ed Class of 2004

Posted by burn2shine on Jul 16, 2003 at 01:05 PM

As GWB's term comes to an end, Democratic candidates are falling all over each other to ride the short bus into the public eye and take a shot against The Evil One. Brush up on all the candidates, cry every night that Clinton can't run again and join us as we head into what could be the biggest ass kicking in US history. A liberal's point of view.

Election 2004 is right around the corner, and the vast litany of talented, spirited, patriotic and fully electable Democratic candidates are lining up to...aw hell, who am I kidding? I haven't seen a sorrier bunch of wanna-be's since American Idol started. Let's face it - no matter how liberal you are and how much you despise Bush, the field of challengers to his fiefdom probably couldn't win a race to the short bus, let alone a presidential election. Unfortunately, one of these clowns WILL be running against him, so we might as well familiarize ourselves with where they stand in the unlikely event America starts paying attention again and takes their Karl Rove Approved Political Blinders Ž off.

Dennis Kucinich - Hey, why not start at the bottom of the unelectable pile. A Senator from Ohio, Kucinich often times bears a striking resembalance to Hitler, if the Furher had been a short little man with a comb-over screaming about "WHERE ARE THE WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION?" Seriously, I'm amazed this guy is holding ANY office, let alone one in the US Senate. Its like he took every stereotypical thing about a liberal, wrapped himself in it and threw in a bit of yelling for good measure. Kucinich will be president the day you see Bill Frist attending a Gay Pride rally.

Carol Moseley Braun - Who? Oh right, the black woman from err...Illinois? Yeah, I think that's right. She has balls for calling Bush on the Iraqi war, but then again that's pretty easy when you aren't holding any public office right now. She speaks to the rather liberal part of the Democratic wing like Kucinich, but the fact that she is A) black and B) a woman means that her target voter audience is about .0005% of the country that would actually vote for a black woman for President.

Al Sharpton - Ah, good old Al. What is there to say about him? Fiery activist? Yes. Ever held an elected office? No. Jerry Curl? No. (he prefers a perm). Conceded-that-he-won't-win-less-than-two-months-into-announcing-his-candidacy? Yes. I'm sure Sharpton will get a few votes when the primary rolls around, but Mike Hunt usually gets a few write-in votes as well...

Bob Graham - Now we are getting into the middle tier candidates. Well, I would have considered Graham to be middle-tiered, at least until he started link]">endorsing NASCAR teams as part of his campaign strategy. Sigh..there goes my hope that we might get a candidate from Florida in the White House soon (till the Republicans run Jeb at least...ugh). Graham has a pretty solid record on Capitol Hill and is well-liked in Florida. But he is fairly conservative for a Democrat and seems to not be one to ruffle feathers, other than his fell-into-it position as head of the Security committee in the Senate. He has potential and appeals to a wide range of people, but he'll have to start making an effort real soon.

Dick Gephardt - Like Graham, he appeals to the real blue collar wing of the party. But also like Graham, he is akin to saying outlandish and stupid, stupid things, such as "When I'm president, we'll do executive orders to overcome any wrong thing the Supreme Court does tomorrow or any other day." Dick, Dick, Dick...you aren't supposed to reveal your plans for global domination until AFTER you win the office. Seriously though, he has way too much Washington dirt on him to really stand much of a chance as anything other than a potential Vice President.

Joe Lieberman - Though he is certainly benefitting from the name recognition of the 2000 campaign, you wouldn't know it. Everytime Lieberman smiles, it looks more like a finger is being jammed up his ass by his proctologist than a winning, charismatic pose. He is pro-war, pro-censorship, and just about Republican in everything but name. As Jon Stewart put it, he's a candidate for "people who like Bush, but don't think he is Jewish enough". If Lieberman wins the nomination, I'm switching parties.

John Edwards - I only classify Edwards as a top tier candidate because, well, there is no where else to put him. So far, he's been one of those candidates who is always mentioned in articles about OTHER candidates, in sentences like "candidate John Edwards also agreed". He does have a lot going for him - he's relatively new to politics which means he is fairly dirt free, he comes from a blue collar background, he's young and attractive and merges well between liberal and conservative issues. Now if only he would distinguish himself, he might have a chance. The key word of course, is might.

John Kerry - The senator from Massachusetts, Kerry is the one most likely to win the nomination. And that is a bad thing. A decorated war veteran, he has become very outspoken in criticizing Bush on everything from the war to the economy to his Medicare bill. But like Gephardt, Lieberman and Graham, Kerry has been hanging around Washington long enough to have some serious scandals and dirt on him that the Republican machine will inevitably seek out. One gets the sense that Karl Rove is just itching to go after Kerry particularly, given that Ari Fleischer already distinguished Kerry as "French looking" just a few weeks before the war. Given all that, Kerry might stand a chance of winning but only if he gets all of the overflow of progressives from the campaign of...

Howard Dean - An anamoly for sure, Dean has become more and more a serious contender for the nomination as of late. A former Vermont governor and doctor, Dean at first seemed relegated to the Kucinich pile until he started using the Web as a campaign tool. Since then, he has raised more money than anyone else and is holding rallies that increase in attendance seemingly every time. A fiscal conservative with a liberal belief system, he is also likely to be a nasty target for conservatives. His endorsement of gay unions in Vermont will undoubtedly alienate middle America, and his Northeast upbringing won't win any voters in the South. One can't write him off totally yet, as he is working on smoothing out his campaign strategy and his appeal to the mainstream, but if he actually wins the nomination he probably wouldn't even get 30% against Bush.

So there you have it, the Democrats Special Ed Class of 2004. If you are a conservative, I'm sure you are cackling wildly atop your evil mountain lair over this sorry group. If you are a liberal like me, you are probably cringing every time one of these ass clowns opens their mouth, secretly praying to Allah/Buddha/Vishnu/Whoever that someone will convince Hillary to run in 2008. And if you are an undecided voter then please, ignore everything else above and vote Democrat. We know what we are doing, we're sorta like Clinton...honest.

Comments

IndigoShaper spoke on Jul 16, 2003 at 01:16 PM

Well you have made a good attempt and this analysis. However, my opinions are:

Yes
Yes
No
No
Maybe
Who knows?
Who cares?
WTF?

That about sums it up.

/not in the US

Reverend Jynxed spoke on Jul 16, 2003 at 01:16 PM

Thankfully affirmative action isn't a mandate in the Oval office or we would have this man:

link]" border=0>

running the country.

RickySilk spoke on Jul 16, 2003 at 01:53 PM

I'm thinking Kerry/Clark in 2004. That's a combo I could feel good about. I'm a fan of Clark.

Interesting info.
[link] (I doubt he'll run for president, but info is here)
[link] (this one is good)
[link]

SurrealStatic spoke on Jul 16, 2003 at 02:32 PM

Just have to say, if Graham wins the primary, I would vote for him over Bush. I remember when he was Gov. of Fl. Good man. Better then Bush in my opinion. But I doubt he will make it through the primary...

As for your look at Lieberman, when I took the 2004 election selector, I got 96% Lieberman, 92% Bush right behind him :-p They must be on the same side on alot of issues. But I wouldnt vote for Lieberman....

crazydiamond spoke on Jul 16, 2003 at 03:51 PM

See, my attention was always focused towards Kerry. I did a report on him for government class last year and learned quite a bit about the guy and it all points to candidacy. But nobody listened to old Jaime. I also said the Bucs were gonna win the Super Bowl. And again, nobody listened. Well you guys can just ... go on living your lives like normal. And make fun of me some more.

Time to pull out the ether I put with the other illicit drugs in the back of the car for emergencies.

Hollowpoint spoke on Jul 16, 2003 at 04:30 PM

Did your report include the fact that he's never had a real job in his life and is currently mooching off his rich wife? Yeah, he'll really connect with the voters.

Things are looking pretty good for Bush right now. The way he set up the tax cut was brilliant- it expires in 2004, so his critics will have to go on record saying they support a tax increase. Ask Mr. Dukakis how well that works.

BadKitty spoke on Jul 16, 2003 at 04:35 PM

Dukakis?

burn2shine spoke on Jul 16, 2003 at 04:40 PM

From JohnKerry.com: [link]
"As a top prosecutor in Middlesex County, Kerry took on organized crime and put the Number Two mob boss in New England behind bars. He modernized the District Attorney's office, creating an innovative rape crisis crime unit, and as a lawyer in private practice he worked long and hard to prove the innocence of a man wrongly given a life sentence for a murder he did not commit."

Yeah, you know, lawyer and prosecutor and District Attorney...none of those are "real jobs"

As for Bush's tax cut, woopty doo. Let's see him dig out of the $450 billion budget deficit first .

link]">

So Hollow, are you an idiot or do you just play one on TV?

Anonymous Coward spoke on Jul 16, 2003 at 05:02 PM

OK, my mistake- I had my liberals confused there- while he had some "real jobs" in the past, most of his wealth came from marrying rich women and sponging off them... I'm guessing he doesn't mention that on his web site though.

While you, as most simple minded liberals b2s, are eager to blame Bush for the economy, deficit, the weather and anything else not to your liking, the facts show differently. Approximately 25% of the deficit is due to spending related to Iraq and 9/11. The rest is due to an economy that was in decline BEFORE Bush took office. 9/11 obviously delayed any hope of recovery.

Before Clinton took office, the economy was improving. Before he left, it was in decline... so you blame Bush? Who's the idiot now?

Hollowpoint spoke on Jul 16, 2003 at 05:09 PM

Micheal Dukakis, former Mass. Governor, ran against Bush Sr in the '88 election. Much like today, there was a deficit and the economy wasn't the greatest.

While Bush campaigned on his "Read my lips, no new taxes" statement (which he later didn't follow through on), Dukakis in a debate admitted that he would raise taxes... and got slaughtered in the election.

burn2shine spoke on Jul 16, 2003 at 05:14 PM

Kerry married Heinz in 1995. That was AFTER serving three terms that he paid for himself. His first wife died of cancer, so I wouldn't rush to be such a ghoul. Get your facts straight or go home.

While its true that the economy was in decline even before Clinton left office, Bush has done absolutely nothing to fix it. Yes, 9/11 couldn't be planned for but Iraq could. We didn't need to go in, and that whole clusterfuck is becoming more and more a drain on finances every day. It is costing us $3.9 billion a month to stay there, and they are anticipating another 4 years in Iraq...that's certainly not going to help things now is it? I'm not saying that the economy is all Bush's fault, only that his tax cuts (like the ones he did before) have shown no progress whatsoever, with interest rates close to being cut again and unemployment still on the rise. It's Reaganomics, given a different spin.

Geez Hollowpoint, so quick to make blanket statements. Those are tough words, coming from a guy who can't beat Jynxed in an argument...

BadKitty spoke on Jul 16, 2003 at 05:45 PM

thanks for the clarification

Hollowpoint spoke on Jul 16, 2003 at 06:09 PM

First off, I spanked the Reverend in that argument- he just wouldn't admit it :)

Second, the whole point about Kerry is that he's going to have a difficult (nearly impossible) time identifying with the voters- east coast liberal / lawyer who married into money rather than making it himself.

Third, while I'm glad that your on the record agreeing that the economy isn't all Bush's fault, you have unrealistic expectations. NOTHING a President can do can turn the economy around on a dime; the tax cuts just recently went into effect. One thing we do know- taxes are a drain on the economy and reducing them is one of the few ways (along with reducing barriers to free trade and excessive regulation) that the government is able to help heal the economy.

Fourth, I'm not one of the idiots who thinks that Saddam was responsible for 9/11, but IF taking out his regime reduces our chances of another attack by making other countries think twice about supporting terrorists it will be worth it. No question the war is expensive, but not so expensive as another terrorist attack.

Bottom line: While it is difficult for a President to win an election during difficult economic times (ask Bush Sr or Carter), most Americans are smart enough to know that Bush isn't to blame and that things will improve... in small part because of the tax cuts.

Anonymous Coward spoke on Jul 16, 2003 at 06:13 PM

You know Burn I'm not sure wether to laugh my ass off or start cussing you out.

Hell I'll do both... Hahahahahaha cum chugging cunt hahahahahaha.

Seriously though it isn't hard to beat his arguments. After all YOU are doing the arguing and winning and I have no problem winning against you so it stands to reason... :D

Reverend Jynxed spoke on Jul 16, 2003 at 06:14 PM

Er, that was me by the way...

Hollowpoint spoke on Jul 16, 2003 at 06:33 PM

How would you know whether it's hard to beat me in an argument- you certainly couldn't.

Anonymous Coward spoke on Jul 16, 2003 at 06:49 PM

I did and I can also beat Burn which you can't.

It really isn't as hard to figure out as you are making it out to be.

Hollowpoint spoke on Jul 16, 2003 at 07:09 PM

Heinz wasn't his first rich wife; you're forgetting Julia Thorne- family worth 300 mil at the time he married her in 1970. They separated in 82, divorced in 88.

By the way, Julia didn't die of cancer, she's alive and has remarried, living in Montana.

Hollowpoint spoke on Jul 16, 2003 at 07:14 PM

What color is the sky in your world? Maybe you should read the exchange over- you were thoroughly beaten.

BTW, you should learn what "Ad Hominem" means before trying to use the term in an argument.

If I make a mistake or am wrong about something, I admit it (see above post). That's the difference between you and I, Reverend.

Anonymous Coward spoke on Jul 17, 2003 at 09:11 AM

As someone who worked recently in economics I feel it only fair to point out HP's right about tax cuts having negligible effects near-term (not that you need a lot of help here HP). Clarification - as a general rule of thumb any change in fiscal policy from the White House won't noticeably show up in the economy for 18 months.

Reverend Jynxed spoke on Jul 17, 2003 at 12:06 PM

I guess you haven't read my other posts where I WAS in error and admitted it. Then again, I fully expect you to ignore the facts that stop your arguments dead in their tracks.

Example of Ad hominem (Argument against the man):

"I believe that abortion is morally wrong."
"Of course you would say that, you're a priest."
"What about the arguments I gave to support my position?"
"Those don't count. Like I said, you're a priest, so you have to say that abortion is wrong. Further, you are just a lackey to the Pope, so I can't believe what you say."

This is something you were doing. I presented facts but you chose to ignore them because "you were right and knew better"

Of course not ALL of the irrelevant arguments were directed at me but a few were.

The other types of arguments you chose to use were:
Ad Verecundiam (Argument from respect)
Chain of arguments
Contextomy
a litte improper transposition
Argumentum ad Ignorantiam (you would not present any evidence supporting your theory)
Ignoratio Elenchi

/me waves and bids you adieu

Anonymous Coward spoke on Jul 23, 2003 at 10:15 AM

Al Sharpton. What a dickhead.
I got two words for Al Sharpton: Tawana Brawley.
I don't know how anyone can take this clown seriously after Tawana Brawley, never mind all his antics since.

RickySilk spoke on Jul 25, 2003 at 06:41 PM

I remembered the name but I had to look it up to remember. Here's the refresher. [link]

RickySilk spoke on Jul 30, 2003 at 09:24 AM

Along the same lines as this.... a funny article at the onion. [link]

Anonymous Coward spoke on Jul 31, 2003 at 05:16 AM

What if? and I say what if gentelmen and gentle women, a candidate were to emerge from within the senate walls. A late bloomer if you will, arrives to the stage and really speaks to the people. Someone eloquent and educated, someone energetic and BOLD.

I am waiting to see who this might be and if it would be Sen. Joe Biden.

Thoughts?

RickySilk spoke on Jul 31, 2003 at 08:59 AM

Don't know anything about him but my first reaction is... a little late to be getting into the mix isn't it?

Anonymous Coward spoke on Jul 31, 2003 at 11:06 PM

yeah right when was the last time a senator won a national election... hmm... yeah let's see... must have been JFK...

the next president will not be a senator... it's a fact we all must accept... they just don't have the national appeal...

Reptile spoke on Sep 19, 2003 at 11:22 AM

I hope Dean Howard dean wins he will probably win the Iowa primary and have lots of momentium in New Hampshire.

I like the fact that he's the youngest guy in the field of democrats running for president.

He also is seperate from the other democrats besides Clark who just entered.

I like where he stands on his issue's. He voted not to go to war on Iraq and most of the other candidates voted yes and are now criticizing on the war.

His state is the only one besides New Mexico without a Deficit and everybody has healthcare. In my book those are very good qualities. And if he could do that to every state then that would be a great thing for this country.

I think he's got the best chance of beating Bush. More and more people will believe in him and vote for him.

He went out on the road campaigning 10 cities in 4 days.No other candidate did that. The only thing that needs to leap from him to the top for good is talking about more issue's like gas prices, to pull more people in to his campaign, and He needs to travel to more places that the other candidates don't go to. Like the state's where the primaries are going to be held and all over the country. That will give him a edge

The former Governor of Vermont becomes the President.

choehyon spoke on Dec 06, 2003 at 01:42 AM

If Dems. want even a chance at the White House , they have to get somebody that understands the average American guy (and lady).
I would contact a guy in Charlotte North Carolina , name : Jason Lewis.. He is on the radio there , and really understands America.

choehyon spoke on Dec 06, 2003 at 01:45 AM

This Guy Scares Asians more than most , because of his MAO-like rhetoric.

choehyon spoke on Dec 06, 2003 at 01:48 AM

Kom Sa Ham Ne Da. (Thank you George Washington).

choehyon spoke on Dec 06, 2003 at 02:00 AM

Sorry Guys.
Just me again. The so called liberals that have evolved since 1988 , when I began my odyssey as an American , have become positively malevolent! Simple American ideals , like private property and personal freedoms are in short supply. I know that George W. Bush is , like his father , a world government flashiest. But he is the single most positive thing to happen to my new country since Ron Regan.
Let us come together on a few things. I , owe you nothing! You , Owe me nothing!!! The very best thing that any government can do for me and mine is : LEAVE US ALONE !!

Comments

Post A Comment